hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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