i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
