she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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