guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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