ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
