I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
