your room smells of hookers.
And success
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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