Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
