Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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