Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
