I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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