We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
