I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
