You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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