i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
