and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
