what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
