I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
