She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
