I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
