he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize