I wanna bring you to show and tell
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
