Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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