The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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