Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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