I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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