i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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