next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
