You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
