how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
