I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
