So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
