Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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