Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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