your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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