I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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