i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
