and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
