I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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