Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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