butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
