I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize