guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love having hate sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
