do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
