White coat. Heels.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
