Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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