every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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