Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
