Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
