i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize