He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
