He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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