I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
