Only a mothe r could love this liver
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I want a musical about memes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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