She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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