You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
