If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize