I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
