i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
