If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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