She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
